Night with Don Piper

Tonight I finally forgave myself. Maybe I should go back a few steps in the story ... For my whole life, I have always received at times "feelings"/ "thoughts"/ even dreams telling me what I should do. Honestly, there has only been one time that I ignored and that could only last 24 hours; it was 3-4 years ago and not what I will discuss here. (Maybe another time.)

On Friday, I had one of those "you must do" thoughts regarding going to hear a certain author speak. Just flashed in my mind when I was driving. So after searching to find where he would be and when, I decided to go tonight to hear Don Piper, author of "90 Minutes in Heaven". He was speaking at one of the local high school auditoriums.

I won't repeat his story here or what his speech regarded, read his book if you like. Just suffice it to say that I finally can forgive myself for not being there for JP, her husband, or her parents. JP said the whole time that she understood even when she was asking if we could go on a road trip. However, I have not been able to accept her forgiveness and have not been able to forgive myself.


I can only hope that I was able to do what she had asked of me ... treat her as normal and make her laugh. Won't forget talking to her from the airline lounge in Korea. She was telling me how bad chemotherapy was and how she wanted to quit; I was thinking that she had asked me to always make her laugh and how could I do that .... It just slipped out ... "If chemotherapy was fun, it would be a ride a Disney World." So there I was tears rolling down my face, trying to smile so she would not notice when I talked, making her laugh until she said it hurt, and having most of the other people in the lounge just staring at me.


All I can really say is that I thank her family from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to be there to say "see you later" to her. She was and will always be my best friend; the kind you can only make when you are young enough to always say what you think! The kind you miss when you just want to talk; or just be on the phone in silence. JP ... I did not forget your birthday and thank you.